If a man asked a woman if she'd like to be handcuffed or spanked the first time he slept with her, it probably wouldn't score him any points — or lead to a slap in the face. But once you're married or in a long term relationship, experimentation is often a part of steamy sex. Bravery in the bedroom comes with TRUST, and that's something you earn from your mate as the two of you rack up notches on the bedpost. Before you go all out with the "whip and chains" make sure you incorporate a SAFE word (like Shit). This way if the play gets too wild the word is said and the action is to Stop immediately. This could make the difference between a night of sexual indulgence or a night of utter fright and pain. Trying new positions, introducing Toys, or games in the sack is a completely healthy way to keep the spark alive & your romance off the chain. . . .