11/2/13

Living Single

I have been Single for more than 15 years and even though it was my choice earlier on, I sometimes miss the comforts of having a partner for life. But, I am Miss-independent and have grown to prefer my bedroom to be just for ME. When I have a date night I like to be out and about & let someone else make the bed, then be on my merry way. Not everyone. When you're in a happy relationship, moving in together might seem like the next logical step. After all, you're always at his place anyway, and shacking up would put an end to all that commuting back and forth, not to mention the stress of trying to remember where you left your makeup bag.
Plus, you'd get to eat dinner together every night, spend lazy Sunday afternoons spooning on the couch, and you'd have round-the-clock access to his gentle wit and heavenly foot massages. All this, and you'd cut your living expenses in half!  Hold Up!  Before you start packing, it's important to think about what cohabitating really means. First and foremost, it's a huge commitment, says Nina Atwood, a Dallas-based psychotherapist and author of "Date Lines: Communication From Hello to I Do and Everything in Between." "Couples often talk about moving in together from a strictly logistical perspective, rather than acknowledging that this is a life-altering step. But moving in with the wrong person can be as traumatic as marrying the wrong person,"  So before you co-sign that lease, sit down with your partner and ponder if a cohabitation contract is necessary.
      Co-Habitation. Are you Ready?
A "cohabitation contract" is a legal agreement between partners that stipulates how to handle their assets in the event of a breakup. It can be as simple as a statement that both parties will leave the relationship with the property they brought to it and split any joint assets down the middle, or it can be a lengthy, complex document that identifies exactly which individual pieces of joint property each person will keepContract or not, are YOU ready to give up your sopt on the couch and worry about his messy laundry to take this next step?


10 comments:

  1. My husband and I cohabitated before marriage and I'm so GLAD because I knew exactly what I was getting into.

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  2. I married the traditional way and knew what I was getting because I am a listener who understands a MAN tells you what he is all about from day one but some women think they can change them. I love being married and encourage all women to take the plunge with the right man.

    For those who are still seeking their mate I would encourage them to keep active and keep their eyes open because as women get older they get caught up in their independence and don't notice that man who has had his eyes on THEM because he may not meet their worldly list.

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    1. So True Sister. I am waiting for that Man to find me.

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  3. I'm like you; I've been single for about 16 years. And most of the time, I'm extremely happy about it. I do miss having someone to share my life with; but when I really think about it long and hard, I think as you do -- I like my own time, my own eating schedule, no toilet seat up, etc. That being said, however, I'm sure that if the right person came along, I'd gladly give up my selfish ways to share my life.

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    1. Yes. When the right one finds you will be happy.

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  4. Very interesting post, I like it. I have been single for a huge part of my life by choice, because I love my me time and space (believe me, no one can enjoy it more than I do). Until I found my partner, things changed. if you really want to take that step, you should really know the person your getting married to and at the end of the day, it is all about communication, Understanding, tolerance and knowing what works for your relationship. Been in a relationship for 3 years and now almost married for a year, next month is our anniversary, so far we can't stand staying away from each other and its been cool

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  5. I am single by choice. (I've been meaning to write a post about this for the longest, btw). It was a choice I had to make because I kept meeting the same guy (different age, look, background, same personality and same result). I knew from the last guy 2 years ago that the issue was with me so I pulled the dating plug. Yes, it does bother me when I enter social situations. I am usually the third wheel and by gosh it pisses me off the way women clutch their men or mysteriously appear if I as much say hi to them, because its now known that I am single and don't date. On the other hand, I've lived by myself and with my cat for so long that I can't imagine living with someone at this stage of my life. On the other hand, I have a friend whose engagement ended abruptly a few weeks after operation cohabitation went into affect. What do Jamaicans say "See me and come live with me...".

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    1. Yes my Sista. . .with me two different tings!! Be Happy.

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Thanks for Sharing your thoughts. . . I look forward to them!