1/20/14

Too Young to Marry

Valentine's Day is almost here.  LOVE is in the air and so is the buzz about Marriage. Your Young and in Love, why not seal the deal and marry this young man that makes you swoon. Somewhere between pinning bridal gowns and wedded bliss comes the Statistics that everyone likes to quote - Nearly 50% of all marriages end in divorce. To top that, the stats are unkind if you are under age 25. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, about 60% of couples who marry between the ages of 20 and 25 are destined for divorce.
Source: Google
I am not sure of the validity of all these statistics. My grandmother got married at the age of 19 and til' death did they part. That union bore 11 children and they were married for more than 30 years and she never
re-married. On the other hand, I got married at age 25 and divorced 12 years later. I could have divorced him 7 years into the marriage but I was determined to make my marriage work and of course I failed.  Lesson#1: You cannot change someone or make a relationship better by yourself.  Then, we saw Miley Cyrus get engaged at 19, sporting a big diamond only to see that relationship end very quickly. The tabloids say she was not emotionally mature. Was my grand mother emotionally mature?  I bet she was not, but that was the life she knew and she was invested in her children. She did not care what her husband was doing as long as he was the provider. Her advice to her young daughters was "give the man the rope and let the rope run out on them". .that was 1950's talk in the Islands.  Not Today!  We all know better and everyone is still ready to give advice.  So, are you/were you Too Young to Marry? Whether someone criticizes you for being married too young or whispers behind your back because you're 32 and single, unless they are legitimately concerned for your health or safety, it's simply none of their business. Every situation is different, and you're the one who will have to live with your decisions - not your overbearing Aunt, not your BFF, or the girl behind you in the line at Target.
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13 comments:

  1. I agree Neti, each situation and every person is different. I married young, and to date I am still married- happily married (there is a difference). I think both individuals need to possess enough maturity to understand what type of commitment is involved and to assess whether or not they are up for the challenge. Also, each both husband and wife must be determined to give 100% of themselves, fully seeking the advantage of their spouse over themselves. I think nowadays, too many women get caught up on the wedding day and the title, versus the lifelong commitment that is involved.

    InMyJoi.blogspot.com

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    1. So true. . .be in Love with the marriage not the wedding! Thanks Joi.

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  2. I'm glad I got married closer to 30....I got a chance to live on my own independently, party, travel, and get to truly know who I was and I wanted out of life before I gained a partner. Now I am married I don't feel that I missed out on anything because I've done it all. I'm new school to an extent because he can't do whatever as long as he provides for me because I did that long before he married me. I think in the old days women put up with pretty much everything because without men they couldn't provide for themselves and their families.

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  3. Oh so true Neti. Looking around I hardly know anyone who isn't divorced, some of those marriages lasted only a couple of month, though.
    hugs
    Lenya
    FashionDreams&Lifestyle

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  4. I got married at the age of 29, he was 34 and we've been married for 23 years. My grandmother married young, twice and got divorced twice, so I guess the statistics are correct in these two situations. However, I don't believe all young marriages end in divorce. Have a wonderful Wednesday.

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  5. My parents met (mom 20 dad 24) and were married 3 months later, they've been married over 35 years, but people were different back then, 18yrs in the 70s was not the same as it is today :)

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  6. Neti your comments always put a smile onto my face......hey I did not fooled you ;-) all I said was I don't know what to write about an outfit, I still don't for that matter, but I am GREAT when it comes to complaining, like,....why do I have to go to the country? Why can't we do the shooting in the city/downtown/wherever, why has it to be bloody country side? I hate meadows, woods and whatnot..........see ;-)
    have a fabulous weekend my dear
    Lenya

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  7. I love this post. I got married at 28 and thought it was the perfect age for me. But you are right...times have changed and what worked then may not necessarily work now...but in the same sense, I do believe that we need to get back to some ole school principles and traditions. I do what works for me and my family. As long as we respect each other and our union...we will continue to journey on the way we see fit.

    Peace & Blessings...Natasha B
    Fashionably Fab

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  8. I'm 27, soon to be 28. While I don't want to rush into anything, the thought that the clock is ticking has crossed my mind more than a few times. Because I do want a husband, and someday a child. Even though I don't want it right now, I'm worried that by the time I'm ready it might be too late.

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Thanks for Sharing your thoughts. . . I look forward to them!

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