11/16/14

Fixer Upper

Everyone in the relationship/dating scene is a work in progress, but when it comes to relationships, finding a ‘turn-key’ man (one who is move-in ready) can be near impossible.  Congrats to those Ladies who found their ideal mate and did not have to do any work to get him marriage ready. Not all of us are that Blessed or Lucky. Would you date a “Fixer-Upper” a man who has potential but may need a little work?
Let’s say you’re dating a guy and he’s Almost perfect. At least, he will be as soon as you’re done with him. All you need to do is make a few upgrades and he will be just what you need. Or, so you think!  Consider this as - that house you bought on the best street, in the best neighborhood that is in disrepair and need some work. Are you able & ready for the job?

Starting with the FOUNDATION. You have to check and see if it’s cracked and stable. You know that it takes time and money to fix an unstable foundation and the depth of that crack could take a long time to repair. A woman has to decide if she has what it takes to invest in filling in that crack and bringing about some stability. Based on your overall inspections you found a solid foundation. Now, time to check the ROOF, aka job security.  Has it been repaired?  Make sure there are no leaks, no wasteful spending or large accrued debts. The roof can also be compared to what kind of head he has on shoulders. Does he have common sense? Or is he a spendthrift, self-centered, and selfish? Does he love his Momma and the Lord? If he’s rude, dismissive, or patronizing, even cruel to animals and children, walk away!  So the roof is good and the foundation seems to be stable. What about the PLUMBING?  Are the pipes rusty or can he still supply the water pressure? Only one way to find out, Sista. A full on personal test is important here! Next to foundation issues, plumbing can be the most draining & very costly. How important is good plumbing to you? If you can get by with a slow drip and even though it takes time to fill the vessel the temperature is just right, then work with it. Just keep in mind that down the road you will have to replace those pipes when they all go bad.
Every individual is responsible for themselves and the choices they make. It’s nobody’s job to fix someone else’s problems. Because we simply cannot. We need to recognize how hard it is to make changes in our own lives and to stick to those changes. Many a good, strong woman have tried to re-make the man/mate of their dreams and have failed. He may be the One, but not the One for Me. Our time is valuable and we have better use for our mental energy. . .What say you?

Resources:
5 Tips to Stop Dating Fixer Upper Guys.
MakeUp or BreakUp



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