6/16/15

Friends to Lovers

You have been friends for more than 8 years & something is changing. Just about everyone has had a close friend who’s fantastic, funny, always there when we need a sympathetic ear... and who also makes your heart do little flips and wonder “Could this be your True Love?”
Anyone who’s watched When Harry Met Sally knows that getting passionate with a friend is a tricky endeavor. But if it works, it’s also totally romantic. Not long ago one of my relatives started dating her best male friend. The guy is well liked, been there for her thru some of her mishaps with other men, but he knows her dirty laundry and I was worried it would go south. Well, they have lasted more than a year and it has survived some bumps in the road. Who knew? If your buddy’s been on your mind all too often of late and you want to see if you can be more than just amigos, try not to air your dirty laundry in their presence and "Test the Waters".

So, you’ve decided that your emotions are the real deal... but what about your friend’s feelings? Are you two on the same page, or is the object of your affection one sided? To see clearly, ask yourself & answer truthfully:-- Are you the first person he shares good (or bad) news with and vice versa?  Is he jealous or critical of your dates and partners?  Is he possessive about spending time with just you rather than along with others? Does your friend compliment you as a date would? Is the amount of time you are spending together increasing? A “YES” to several of these could mean the attraction is indeed mutual.
While there are great risks involved by confessing, dishonesty may endanger the friendship if you behave awkwardly because of those newly discovered feelings. Bashing every girl he wants to date, and telling him you hate when he stays on the phone too long with another friend, etc..etc. will not bring you two closer.  It is very possible that you may wind up being the best thing that ever happened to him. So, don't ignore these feelings. On the other hand, you're taking a big risk & you have a lot to lose in the way of friendship. And you can't imagine him not being a part of your life.
You may not be compatible in every area - being best friends with someone doesn't mean you will be compatible intimately. Really, there are more pros than cons, but the cons carry more weight that can lead to the collapse of a wonderful friendship. You may think you know everything about him, and perhaps you do as a friend, but when he becomes your boyfriend, everything changes. Then what?
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